How to Stop Overthinking Everything

You send a text and spend the next hour wondering how it was received. You replay a conversation from last week, rewriting what you should have said. You make a decision, then second-guess it a hundred times.

Overthinking can feel like trying to solve a problem, but really it is going in circles. The good news is that there are ways to step out of the loop.

Why do we overthink?

Overthinking is usually an attempt to feel safe. If I think about it enough, I can prevent something bad from happening. If I analyse everything, nobody can catch me off guard. For many people, this habit started early. Perhaps you grew up having to read the mood in the room, or you learned that mistakes had consequences. Your mind became very good at scanning for danger, and it still does, even when nothing is wrong.

Overthinking can also be a way to avoid feeling. It is easier to analyse a feeling than to sit in it.

Rumination vs problem-solving

A quick test: problem-solving moves you towards an action or a decision. Rumination repeats the same thoughts and leaves you feeling worse. If you have been thinking about something for an hour and are no closer to a next step, you are probably ruminating.

7 ways to break the loop

1. Notice and name it

Say to yourself, I am overthinking again. Naming the pattern creates a little distance between you and the thought, so you are watching it instead of being swept up by it.

2. Ask the useful question

Instead of why did this happen to me or what if it all goes wrong, ask: What is within my control right now? What is one small step I can take?

3. Set a worry window

Give yourself 10 to 15 minutes a day to think about your worries on purpose. When a worry pops up outside that time, tell yourself, I will think about that at 5pm. It sounds odd, but many people find it reduces the constant mental chatter.

4. Get into your body

Overthinking lives in the head. Walk, stretch, cook, wash your hands under warm water, or breathe slowly with a long exhale. Moving attention into the body gives your mind a rest. Try the exercises in how to calm your nervous system in 5 minutes.

5. Write it out

Put everything on paper without editing. Then circle only what you can act on. Thoughts feel smaller once they are outside your head.

6. Practise good enough decisions

Perfectionism feeds overthinking. Try deciding quickly on small things, such as what to eat or what to wear, to train yourself to trust your choices.

7. Speak to yourself kindly

If a friend told you what you tell yourself, what would you say to them? Offer yourself the same warmth.

When overthinking is a sign of something deeper

If your thoughts feel impossible to control, keep you from sleeping, or are linked to past experiences that still feel raw, it may be a sign that your system is trying to protect you from something unprocessed. That is where talking with a professional can help. You may find my post on why you feel anxious even when nothing is wrong helpful too.

Let us untangle it together

In my sessions I combine psychotherapy and hypnotherapy to help you quieten the constant mental noise and build trust in yourself. Book a free 15-minute consultation and tell me what your mind keeps circling around.

This article is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are in crisis, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or emergency services on 000.