How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions

You walk into a room and immediately sense the mood. Someone close to you is upset and within minutes you feel it too — not as sympathy but as your own emotion, sitting in your own body. You leave conversations feeling drained in a way that has nothing to do with what was said and everything to do with what was felt. If this is you, you are likely a highly sensitive person who has not yet learned how to be present with other people's emotions without taking them on as your own.

Why Some People Feel Others More Intensely

High sensitivity is neurological. Research suggests that about 20 percent of the population has a nervous system that processes sensory and emotional information more deeply than average. This is not a disorder. It is a trait — one that comes with genuine gifts including deep empathy, perceptiveness and the ability to pick up on things others miss. But it also comes with a significant cost if you have not learned how to manage it.

The Difference Between Empathy and Absorption

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Absorption is when you lose the distinction between their feelings and yours. Empathy keeps you connected to yourself while feeling with someone else. Absorption takes you out of yourself and into their emotional state entirely. The goal is not to feel less — it is to feel while remaining grounded in who you are.

What You Can Do

The most effective tool is what therapists call grounding — actively connecting to your own body, breath and physical environment when you feel yourself being pulled into someone else's emotional state. Before entering a difficult conversation or emotionally charged situation, take a moment to feel your feet on the floor, notice three things you can see, and take a slow breath. This is not about shutting down — it is about staying anchored in yourself so you can be present without losing yourself.

It also helps to develop a practice of checking in with yourself after interactions. What am I feeling right now? Is this mine or did I pick it up from someone else? The simple act of asking creates a distinction that absorption erases.

If you have been absorbing other people's emotions for so long that you have lost track of what your own actually feel like, book a free 15 minute consultation — online sessions available Australia-wide.